A flat miner
Thứ Sáu, 30 tháng 9, 2016
My wife and I went on our honyemoon to Australia...
Unfortunately, I had to dial the help line.
"G'day this is Tim, you've reached the Aussie help line. How can we help ya?"
I told him, "We were in the ocean and my wife was stung by a jellyfish on her lady parts. Her vagina is completely swollen shut. It's our honeymoon, and well....ya know."
The guy on the help line replies, "Ah, bummer mate!"
I say, "I hadn't thought of that! Thanks for the advice. You've saved my honeymoon!"
A man asks a woman if she would have sex with him for a Million dollars.
The woman says "yes!"
The man then asks "Would you have sex with me for one dollar?"
"NO! what do you think I am?!" she reply's
"I think we already established that, now we're just negotiating"
A ventriloquist does a show
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee."
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