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Thứ Tư, 5 tháng 10, 2016

A carpenter finds a genie in a lamp

The genie tells the man "I can only grant you one wish. What is it that you would like?" The carpenter responds: "You know, carpentry is my passion. I would love to be able to talk to my tools. They are my friends, after all". The genie makes it so. Later, the carpenter is working on the frame of a house when he sees his hammer next to him. The carpenter says to the hammer, "Well, I can talk to my tools now. What would you like to say?" The hammer replies, "I'm hammer" "Yes, I know that" says the carpenter. "Is that it?" "I'm hammer" says the hammer. The carpenter is frustrated and turns to his trusty wrench. The carpenter says, "What about you? What can you say?" "I'm wrench", says the wrench. Now the carpenter is really frustrated. He asks his saw, ladder, tape measure, and screw driver the same questions, only to receive "I'm saw, I'm ladder, I'm tape measure, I'm screw driver". The carpenter is starting to lose it and gives up for the day. He drives home, knowing that he may be able to forget his wish and relax in front of the television. He walks through the front door and heads to his computer to check his emails, when he comes across a plank of wood sitting in front of his computer. Across further inspection, the carpenter sees that the plank is typing a very long joke into Reddit. "What in the world is going on?!", exclaims the carpenter.

"I'm board"

Rihanna, Usher and Justin Bieber were walking over a bridge..........

Rihanna trips and gets her head stuck between the railings.

Without a sideways glance, Usher pulls aside her G-String and fucks her senseless.

He stands back and tells Justin, "Your turn!"

Justin burst out into tears.

"Whats wrong?", asks Usher.

Justin sobs, "My head won't fit in the railings."

Why do french tanks have rear view mirrors?

To see the battle.

I farted in an Apple Store today and got thrown out because of it

Not my fault they don't have Windows

A lot of women are turning into good drivers.

So, if you're a good driver, watch out for turning women!

How do you make a Chinese man no longer Asian?

Just spin him around in circles until he's disoriented

The puzzle of Trump's massive losses


The puzzle of Trump's massive losses
Thousands claim net operating losses, but rarely do individuals claim ones as large as Trump reported. In 1995, 505,303 tax returns claimed losses worth a total of $49.3 billion, so Trump’s deductions amounted to 1.9 percent of the nationwide total.

October 4, 2016 at 08:00AM
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