What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Him?

It only takes one nail to hang the picture.

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My wife heard it's seductive to bite her lip...

I don't have the heart to tell her it's meant to be the bottom one.

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I'm Black. So I can't be racist. But these suckers keep telling me that I am.

"Jake, you can't call yourself Black just because you went to jail once. That is racist"

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Did you know you can tell the gender of an ant by throwing it in water?

If it sinks, girl ant. If it floats, buoyant.

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Getting a girl to sleep with you is just like putting butter on bread.....

It's possible to do with a credit card but easier with a knife.

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What's the difference between a good joke and

A bad joke timing

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My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it

We went and had drinks. Cool guy, wants to be a web designer.

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