I named my eraser Confidence...

Because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

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My math teacher called me average.

How mean.

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Sometimes I just wish I was black.

That way I wouldn't have to deal with all the dad jokes

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Kim Kardashian recently got robbed of $10 million

The robbers worked harder for that money than she ever did

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A couple of Thai girls asked if I wanted to sleep with them. They said it would be like winning the lottery.

They were right, we had six matching balls.

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The Devastating True Story of the Romanov Family's Execution

The Devastating True Story of the Romanov Family's Execution
The slaughter of the family and servants was one of the seminal events of the 20th century, a wanton massacre that shocked the world and still inspires a terrible fascination today

October 8, 2016 at 01:49AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2dkkJtU

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To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket...

You can hide, but you can't run

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