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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Sáu, 7 tháng 10, 2016

504,323

504,323

A man watches his wife get beaten...

A man watches his wife get beaten up by five guys.

When the police arrived, they asked the man "why didn't you help?"

The man said "five seemed like enough"

I love the smell of my f5 key...

It is very refreshing

My Muslim coworker brought a CD version of the Quran to work today.

He got really pissed off when I asked if I could burn a copy.

If Trump becomes president, I'm moving to Mexico!

Not by choice though.

This is a joke my dad told me. He said he originally heard it from his father, who heard it from his father before him.

A man goes to the doctor and says

"Doc, I think I have a tapeworm"

The doctor looks at him and says

"Well, we're all out of medicine for that, but there might be something else I can do for you. Come home, then come back tomorrow with an orange, a Twinkie, and a baseball bat"

So the man goes home and gathers up his supplies, then goes to bed and shows up the next day with an orange, a Twinkie, and a baseball bat. The doctor takes the baseball bat and sets in the corner, then takes the orange and shoves it up the man's butt. He waits five minutes, then puts the Twinkie up after it. The doctor then tells the man to go home and come back the next day with another orange, and another Twinkie.

So the man goes home, and he comes back the next day with another orange and another Twinkie. The doctor takes the orange and he shoves it up the man's butt, then he waits five minutes then puts the Twinkie up after it.

The doctor and the man go on like this for a week, with the man coming back every day with an orange and a Twinkie.

Finally, at the end of the week, the doctor tells the man to come back the next day with just an orange. The man goes home, gets his orange and comes back the next day. The doctor takes the orange and, as is usual, shoves it up the man's butt. Then he waits. Five minutes go by, then ten, and the man starts to get impatient, but the doctor won't let him leave. Finally after half an hour, the man feels something shift inside his stomach. Suddenly, the tapeworm sticks his head out the man's ass and says "Hey! Where's my Twinkie?" And the doctor hits it with the baseball bat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I originally heard this joke in Spanish so sorry if it didn't translate quite right. I've never seen it on this subreddit or heard it from anyone else so I figured I'd post it. Let me know if you've seen it somewhere else, because I'd love to hear some other versions of it.

If Hillary Clinton gets elected she will be our first F president.

The reason I didn't say 'Female' is because someone deleted the emale.