I have a fear of speed bumps

But I am slowly getting over it

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Shaving with a straight razor takes a lot of courage. I used to shave my privates with one

But I don't have the balls to do that anymore.

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Comeback or Train Wreck? Why the Town Hall Format Is So Perilous for Trump

Comeback or Train Wreck? Why the Town Hall Format Is So Perilous for Trump
The format of tonight's debate — a town hall meeting where an audience of undecided voters asks the questions — poses the distinct possibility of a full-blown train wreck.

October 9, 2016 at 09:48PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2dcFjPn

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What do prime numbers and stoners have in common?

The higher they are, the more spaced out they get

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I’ve got no home, I haven’t got control, and I can’t see any escape.

I should get a new keyboard.

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My friend used my todo list to roll a blunt

He's high on my list of priorities

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Husband to wife: "I am impressed, you only talked to your friend on the phone for 20 minutes."

Wife: "Oh, I dialed the wrong number"

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