A woman heard that her blonde friend was in the hospital

She went to visit her, and found her propped up in bed with bandages over both her ears.

"What in the world happened to you?" she asked.

"It was the craziest thing," said the blonde. "I was ironing clothes when the phone rang. Without thinking I held the iron up to my ear and said 'hello?'"

"But what happened to your other ear?"

"I had to call the ambulance, didn't I?"

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Why have sumo wrestlers began shaving their legs?

They were getting tired of being mistaken as feminists

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I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job at the construction site...

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

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Why are doctors always calm?

They have a lot of patients.
Sorry.

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What are the 3 stages of sex after marriage?

Tri-weekly

Try Weekly

and

Try Weakly

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What's the difference between a seal and sea lion?

One electron

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My first original joke.

There's this family, and one day they had found the perfect place to build their new home. After years had past by, their house had just finished construction. It was everything they ever wanted, it was PERFECT. However when they entered their new home, they all fell right through to the basement. Why?

The house was flawless.

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