What do you say to your sister when she's crying?

Are you having a crisis?...

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Donald Trump's plan to build a wall might actually work

The Chinese built a huge wall, and they have almost no Mexicans in their country....

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What sound does a bouncing plane make?

Boeing boeing boeing...

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Two Chicagoans die in an unfortunate car wreck.

Two Chicagoans die in an unfortunate car wreck. Tragic, especially considering they didn’t exactly spend their days helping old ladies cross the street or volunteering at the Boys and Girls club. Nope, these fellows went straight to Hades. The Devil, as is his custom, goes to greet his two newest eternal residents, and despite rivers of lava and torrents of brimstone, they’re standing around in jackets. “Not hot enough for you?” asked the Devil. “What, this? Nah, this is like a Spring day in Chicago.” The Devil doesn’t take lightly to such a slight,...

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I took this girl home after our date...

Her: When you said magical in bed this isn't what I expe- Me: holds up 8 of hearts is this your card? Her: softly holy shit...

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My girlfriend wanted me to be more like her ex.

So I dumped her....

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I just saw a midget get pickpocketed...

I still can't believe someone could stoop so low....

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