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Thứ Sáu, 11 tháng 11, 2016

What do you get when you put 50 politicians and 50 lesbians in a room together?

100 cunts that don't do dick.

Dave has an awesome job

Dave was commissioned to drive the Pope to the airport within the hour. Unfortunately, being a new driver, he got lost.

"It's all right, my son. I used to drive these streets in my youth. We'll get there in time."

The Pope took the wheel with Dave sitting in the back seat. He drove like an expert, taking sharp turns easily. The Pope, not wanting to be late for his flight, didn't realize how fast he was going. Soon the red and blue lights flashed behind him.

"It will be okay, son." The Pope reassured Dave, who was nervous about getting fired. The police officer walked up to the driver's side. The Pope lowered the window, to the officer's surprise.

"Uh, do you know how fast you were going, your Holiness?"

"I didn't mean to, sir. It won't happen again."

The officer let the him off with a warning. He then called into dispatch.

"Any problems, officer?"

"Sir, I just stopped a really important person."

"Is it the Mayor?"

"No, Sir" says the officer, "someone more important"

"The Governor?"

"Even more important than that."

"The President?!?!?!?" asks the dispatch.

"Even more important than him?"

"For God's sake, who the hell is it?" the dispatch is now incredulous

"I'm not sure, but his driver is the Pope!" blurts out the officer.

A boy asks his father

The difference between up and down. His Father says 'You don't have up syndrome'.

What borders stupidity?

Canada and Mexico.

What's the difference between a Pakistani wedding party and an Al-Qaeda training camp?

Dunno, I just fly the drone.

Where was the first chicken fried?

In Greece.

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig?

The letter F