"You're telling me that I'm losing my job because Donald Trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!"

"Mister President, we've been over this..."

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Two Jews meet in a NY subway

a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon.

Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader. "Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?"

Moshe replied, "I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, Jews living in poverty. So I switched to the Arab newspaper. Now what do I find? Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world. The news is so much better!"

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"Well grandma," I said, "this is where you will be staying eventually, do you like it? "

She shouted, "Will you fuck off and let me visit your granddad's grave in peace!"

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Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it'd be a foot.

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There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

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I can cut a log in half just by looking at it.

Its true. I saw it with my own eyes.

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Liberals are acting like Trump is going to kill all the gays, make slavery legal again, and take away women's rights....

Like he's a Muslim or something.

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