FunnyStory about animals and all around the world
Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)
Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)
Play game and comfortable :)
Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.
When suddenly my dad said in a serious toned voice
"I know something you don't know about this place.The people living in this town aren't allowed to be buried in here"
And i was really confused so i asked why and he said
"Because they are still alive."
Original: tumblr user @hello.
As they sat over a candle lit dinner, Hillary made a confession. "Bill," she says. "You know that box in the basement you told me never to open?" "Yes" says Bill. "It had been bothering me for years and finally curiosity won over. I opened it." Bill sighed in disappointment. Hillary asked, "I found three empty beer bottles and seventy seven dollars. Can I ask why you were keeping three empty beer bottles?" "Well, Hillary. I'm going to be honest. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I would come home and open a beer. I would drink it thinking about how I really love you and how sorry I was. The beer bottles are reminders of the mistakes I made cheating on you." Hillary was surprised but she knew his past and excepted it. "Bill, I'm dissapointed, but we have been through worse. I love you and I forgive you. Can I ask why there was seventy seven dollars in the box?" Bill shrugged. "Everytime the box filled up with beer bottles, I took them back for the deposit."
"The ARMY? Are you fucking insane? Do you want to live in constant fear? Do you want to have some psycho drill sergeant hovering over you and controlling your every fucking move?!"
"No. That's why I'm leaving home and joining the army."
Robert , 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old . . .Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Robert should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Robert, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Robert takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Robert, Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are done, Robert kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it Robert is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25 - year - old, ready for more 'action'. And, once more they enjoy each other. But as Robert gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, 'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Robert.'
Robert, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: 'You mean I was here already?'
So there was a cucumber, pickle, and penis talking about how bad their lives were.
The cucumber says, "My life is terrible! When I get big and hard they chop me up and put me in a salad!!"
The pickle says, "That's nothing! When I get big and hard, they stick my in a jar full of vinegar and vacuum seal me!"
The penis says, "My life is the worst! When I get big and hard they put a rubber tarp on my head and stick me in a dark room and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out!!!"