Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

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Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)

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Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)

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Play game and comfortable :)

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Thứ Bảy, 26 tháng 11, 2016

What did Woody say to Buzz?

A lot. There were 3 movies.

A 6 year old & a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.

“You know what?” says the 6 year old. “I think it's about time we started cussing. The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, “When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell & you say something with ass.” The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

When the mother walks into the kitchen & asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, “Aw, hell, Mom, guess I'll have some Cheerios.” WHACK!! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, & runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room & shouts, “You can stay there until I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old & asks with a stern voice, “And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?” “I don't know”, he blubbers, “but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!”

I sleep better naked

Why can't this flight attendant understand that?

Why is the oval office oval shaped?

Because the government cuts corners.

The room is 15$ a night.

Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed.

Guest: I'll make my own bed.

Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood.

Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96, live in a house together

One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts one foot in a pauses. She yells down the stairs, “Was I getting in or out of the bath?” The 94-year-old yells back, “I don’t know. I’ll come up and see.” She starts up the stairs and pauses. Then she yells out, “Was I going up the stairs or down?” The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea and listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, “I sure hope I never get that forgetful.” She knocks on wood for good measure. She then replies,“I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.”

Success is like pregnancy...

Everyone congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.