Now all I have is beer...
Thứ Bảy, 3 tháng 12, 2016
Did Santa bring that to you
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humouring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did." The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."
A farmer buys a cock and brings him back to his farm
...then releases him with the rest of his animals. The cock looks around, and notices that there are hundreds of hens, but only one other cock, who looked old and weak.
"This will be easy", thinks the cock to himself and walks straight to the other one.
"Listen here", the young cock said, "I am now the boss of this place and all these hen are mine. You're too old to do anything anyway."
"Fair enough", the old cock said, "but you will have to race me to the gate for it. If you win, all the hen are yours."
"This should be easy", the young cock thinks to himself.
"I have just one condition. Since I am old I would like a three second head start."
The young cock looks at the distance to the gate, realizes that he will still win without much trouble and agrees. The race begins, the old cock starts running and three seconds later the young one rushes right after him.
Naturally the young cock is catching up to the old one immediately and not even half way to the gate he is right behind him.
All of a sudden there is a loud bang, and the young cocks falls dead to the ground. On the porch stands the farmer with his rifle.
"God damnit those motherfuckers at the market! This is the 3rd gay cock they sold me this year!"
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