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Chủ Nhật, 4 tháng 12, 2016

What’s the difference between being hungry and being horny?

Where you put the cucumber.

There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

With great power comes

Greater difficulty in factorizing the polynomial.

Why Trump's Taiwan Call Is A Big Deal


Why Trump's Taiwan Call Is A Big Deal
​On Friday night, Donald Trump once again seized the news cycle by the scruff of the neck when it emerged that he'd spoken on the phone to the president of Taiwan — the first time (as far as we know) a US President has done so since 1979.  Here's why it's a big deal (and not in a good way).

December 3, 2016 at 09:02PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2h42GNZ

My professor accused me of plagiarism

His words, not mine.

So I went to the club last night and asked a German girl for her number...

and you'll never believe it! Her number is 999-999-9999!

A father tucks his 3 year old daughter to bed...

He tells her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, 

"God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."

The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?'

The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died.  The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this,  "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma."

The next day the grandmother died.

"Holy crap" thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the other side."

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. 

He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock.. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.  He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said,  "I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?"

He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my boss died in the middle of a meeting.