... and asks for a glass of water with ice. Once his drink is served, he looks at the bartender and asks: "What did you use to make the ice cubes?"
Bartender: "Water."
Ramsay: "Fresh?"
Bartender: "No, frozen."
Ramsay: "Oh for fuck's sake."
Thứ Tư, 7 tháng 12, 2016
Boy scout: Sir, I found a snake, is it poisonous?
Me: No little one, this snake isn't poisonous at all.
Then the snake bites the boy and he immediately starts to spasm and foam at the mouth, leaving the other kids watching, horrified.
Me: However, this snake is venomous. Venom is always injected, poison is ingested or absorbed through the skin. Let's get it right next time lads.
Three gay men died, and were cremated...
... Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, ''My Benny loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane to scatter his ashes in the sky.'' The second man said, ''My Carl was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake.'' The third man said, ''My Jim was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time.''
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