Or just mine?
Thứ Ba, 13 tháng 12, 2016
Great Romanian joke
A bit on the long side, but stick with it, it's worth it!
The bunny rabbit wakes up one Sunday morning with an extreme craving to eat pancakes. This desire cannot wait and the forest diner is closed on Sundays, so he decides to hop all the way to the grocery store (25 min away). He gets there and buys everything he needs: cooking oil, pancake batter, four types of jam, Canadian maple syrup, butter, the works. As soon as he gets home though, he realizes he had forgotten that his frying pan was very old and ended up getting completely ruined last time he used it, and thinks to himself:
"Damn it! I really don't want to hop all that way and back again, it's almost an hour. Wait! the bear lives only 5 minutes away, he eats tons of food, and I know he has a bunch of frying pans, surely he won't mind lending me one!"
So he heads out to the bear's place. On the way, he starts thinking:
"You know, maybe the bear will want some of the pancakes since he's lending me a frying pan. Well, I guess that's fair, I mean, I couldn't make the pancakes without his frying pan. Out of the 15 pancakes I can make with the stuff I bought, I guess I can give him 5. Yeah, 10 will be more than enough for me.
"Hmm... well, the bear is much bigger than me, so what if he wants more than 5 pancakes? Well... I don't know, I guess that's all right. I don't usually eat much and I'll probably be fine if I eat just a few... So if he wants 10, well, 5 should be enough for me! I really only have this craving, and if I eat only a couple, it will probably go away (as they say, a lot more exciting at first...)
"Hmm... well... what if he wants more than 10? I mean, he's much bigger than me, it's not like I can do anything if he decides to just have them. If he says he wants to help out because he wants to eat some too, I can't really say no, after all, he is lending me a frying pan. But then he can come back with me and while we make them, he could just eat pancake after pancake and I can be left with nothing! I mean, what's the big deal, why can't he just lend me a damn frying pan for 20 damn minutes, he's got tons of them?? I always try to help him out if he asks for something, why can't he do the same?!"
Just about this time he gets to the bear's place. Knocks on the door, bear opens.
"You know what, bear? Fuck you, and fuck your frying pan!"
The Grand Tour May Be The Most Illegally Downloaded TV Show In History
The Grand Tour May Be The Most Illegally Downloaded TV Show In History
Amazon got the guys from the UK's 'Top Gear' to do a new show. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like a lot of people are using Prime to watch it.
December 12, 2016 at 09:21AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2hCvBF6
3 virgin daughters
A Mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe." Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good till the last drop." Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Benson&Hedges". Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the Benson&Hedges pack: "Extra Long King Size." She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.
The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived. Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words: "British Airways". Mom took out her latest Harper's Bazaar magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for the airline. The ad said: "Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways."
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