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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Hai, 2 tháng 1, 2017

I told the ambulance guys the wrong blood type for my ex

Now she should understand what rejection feels like.

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project..

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, some of the training of the astronauts took place on a Navajo reservation.

One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question that his son translated. "What are these guys in the big suits doing?"

A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old man got all excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts. Recognizing a promotional opportunity, the NASA folks found a tape recorder.

After the old man recorded his message, they asked his son to translate it. He refused. The NASA PR people brought the tape to the reservation, where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed, but refused to translate the elder's message.

Finally, the NASA crew called in an official government translator. His translation of the old man's message was: "Watch out for these guys; they have come to steal your land."

Chủ Nhật, 1 tháng 1, 2017

Kim Jong Un wakes up after a drinking binge.

He walks around his office, but sees no one. He explores his building, but can't find anyone. He peers out of the window, and the streets of Pyongyang are completely empty.

His phone rings. Hurriedly he lifts it, hoping to get an explanation. His wife was on the other end of the line.

"Glorious husband! Last night you had too much Soju and opened our borders."

"Shit! Are the two of us the only people left?"

"Actually... I'm calling from Seoul."

I hate when people ask me where I see myself in 3 years.

Do I look like I have a 2020 vision?

A supervisor is being given a tour of a hospital by a doctor

The supervisor and doctor come across a patient in a room that is feverishly masturbating.

"What is going on here!?" the supervisor demanded.

"This man has a very rare disease," the doctor explained. "If he does not ejaculate every hour, his testicles will fill with semen and burst."

The supervisor accepted the explanation and they continued the tour coming to a room where a nurse was giving a patient a blow job.

"What is going on here!?" the supervisor demanded and the doctor says,

"Same disease, better health plan."

How many Feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One.

Men can be Feminists, too.

Mariah Carey

That awesome performance.