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Thứ Bảy, 7 tháng 1, 2017

So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69.

Apparently, "I do." is not the correct answer.

White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do...

They shoot each other in school, because they have class

Tried to explain my sexuality to my dad..

Me: Okay, so I would identify as bisexual.

Dad: And that means you would have a male partner.

Me: Yep

Dad: or a female partner.

Me: Yep

Dad: And that means you're bi.

Me: Yep

Dad: So that means if you don't find a partner you're on standbi?

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me: Did you just...

Thứ Sáu, 6 tháng 1, 2017

My girlfriends parents are very religious.

The first time I was at their house her father said we weren't allowed to sleep together. It was a bit of a shame, he was very attractive.

Teacher asks a question

Teacher: "whoever answers my next question can go home"

Jimmy throws his bag out the window

Teacher: "who just threw that?"

Jimmy: "that was me"

A woman caught her husband on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach.

“That won’t help you, Joe, you know?”

“Oh it helps a lot,” says the man, “it’s the only way I can see the numbers!”

Who wears a red suit, and knows if you are naughty or nice?

The Spanish Inquisition