To the woman who keeps pounding on my door at night:

I'm not letting you out.

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My brother got kicked out of his house by his wife for measuring his penis.

For the record, it reaches the back of his sister-in-law's throat.

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A prisoner was told how he'll be executed

Needless to say, he was shocked.

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Snake: *hissssssssss*

Feminist snake: *herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*

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A professor tells dirty jokes and the women protest.

A professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it. So they decided that in the next time that the professor will start with these kind of jokes they all will leave the class as a protest.

Somehow the professor heard about the plan.

In the next lecture, in the beginning of the lecture he said: "In Sweden a prostitute makes $2000 per night."

All the women stood up and started to leave the class. So he shouted after them: "Where are you going? The plane to Sweden doesn't take off until the day after tomorrow."

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The pregnant lady sitting across from me laughed

"What is it?" I asked. "Oh its nothing, just my baby doing standup." "Really?" I inquired. "What did he say?" "You wont get it." She laughed.

"It's an inside joke."

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I lost my watch at a party once.

An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was sexually harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.

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