Dad called me a cunt

I always buy him socks for Xmas. I said, "you bastard, it's the thought that counts." I could tell by the look in his eyes he would have kicked my head in if he had legs

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This is how American health care kills people

This is how American health care kills people
Matthew Stewart thought he had good insurance. Then he started vomiting blood.

January 20, 2017 at 01:44AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2jCOzQO

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Slept like a baby last night

Woke up every hour and just cried about my life.

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Yttrium-barium-copper oxide walks into a bar

The bartender tells him, "We don't serve superconductors here."

He leaves without resistance.

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Where does a Muslim learn to swim?

Inshallah water.

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Never panic, there's always a solution

In a store in US, a man asked for 1/2 kg of butter.

The salesperson, a young boy, said that only 1kg packs were available in the Store, but the man insisted on buying only 1/2 kg.

So the boy went inside to the manager's room and said "An idiot outside wants to buy only 1/2 kg of butter".

To his surprise, the customer was standing right behind him.

So the boy added immediately, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half".

After the customer left, the manager said "You have saved your position by being clever enough at the right time. Where do you come from?"

To this the boy said, "I come from Brazil. The place consists of only prostitutes and football players!"

The manager replied coldly, "My wife is also from Brazil!!".

To this the boy asked excitedly, "Oh yeah? Which team does she play for?"

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I watched a documentary on marijuana

It was very enjoyable. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.

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