Because it already has 28 million degrees.
Thứ Sáu, 20 tháng 1, 2017
father and his 6-year-old son
A father and his 6-year-old son are walking down the street, and they come across two dogs having sex. The boy is shocked by what he sees and asks his father "Daddy, what are they doing?" The father, not wanting to lie to his son, says "they're just making a puppy." "OK" says the son, and the father is relieved that he doesn't probe further. The next day, the son bursts into his parents' room and sees them having sex. The father jumps up and quickly covers himself. Knowing he's in for an interesting talk, walks downstairs with him and they sit at the dining room table. His son asks him "Daddy, what were you and mommy doing?" Again, wanting to be honest with his son, he says "me and mommy were making a baby." His son pauses for a moment, thinking, and then replies "flip mommy over, I want a puppy!"
Joe wanted a Harley...
Joe wanted to buy a Harley motorcycle. He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.
The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in mint condition.
He buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
'Well, it's quite simple,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.It protects it from the rain, and he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.
Just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family.
'When we eat dinner, we don't talk.
In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'
'No problem,' he says.. And in they go.
Joe is shocked.Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.
In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.
He leans over and kisses Sandra.
No one says a word.
He reaches over and fondles her breasts. Nobody says a word.
So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and screws her, right there in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
He looks at her mom. She's got a great body too.
Joe grabs mom, bends her over the table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way but loose right there on the dinner table.
She has a big orgasm, & Joe sits down.
His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, & Mom is beaming from ear to ear. But still ... . Total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.
Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father shouts. I'll do the fuckin’ dishes!!
A husband bought his wife a new sex toy for her birthday...
and it was voice operated. It was newest model of Vibro-dick: self-propelled and voice activated.
He brought it home to his from the sex shop in a gift wrapped box with a bow. She unwrapped the box and was surprised.
"Honey, I've never used a sex toy. I don't know if I'll like."
The husband said, "Watch this. It does all the work for you."
The husband picked up the Vibro-dick and said, "Virbo-dick, the couch."
The purple dildo floated out of the box and began pounding the couch for all it was worth. The wife watched in awe. The husband walked over, grabbed it, and placed it back in the box.
"Well," the wife said, "that is impressive."
"Only the best for you, honey. All you have to do is say, 'Vibro-dick' followed by where you want it to go."
The next morning after the husband went to work, the wife decided to test her new toy. She sat the box on the floor, opened the lid, and said, "Virbo-dick, my pussy."
The Virbo-dick floated out of the box and began to fuck the ever-lovin' shit out of her. She climaxed, once, twice, three times, and it began to become painful. She grasped at it, trying to turn it off, but she couldn't turn it off.
"Vibro-dick stop! Vibro-dick turn off! Vibro dick box!"
It wouldn't stop. She came again. She called her husband, and her didn't answer. She realized that her only hope was to drive to a sex shop or somewhere and figure out how to turn it off.
She ran to her car and began driving as fast as she could. As she reached 120 mph, a cop pulled her over.
"Thank God, there's help!"
The cop got out and walked up to her window. She was scream in pain and orgasmic please.
"What the hell are you doin', lady?"
"It's! The! Vi! Bro! Dick!"
"You were going 120 mph. You could've killed somebody!"
"It's! Not! My! Fault! It's! The! Virbo! Dick!"
"Vibro-dick? Vibro-dick, my ass"
And the Vibro-dick stopped fucking her and floated out of the car...
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