Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Funny Video

Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)

Funny Picture

Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)

Funny Game

Play game and comfortable :)

Funny Funny

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Chủ Nhật, 22 tháng 1, 2017

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?

Because in charge of sequence, Yoda was.

My girlfriend yelled at me today saying, "You weren't even listening just now, were you?!"

I thought, "Man, what a weird way to start a conversation."

The burglar

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, "Jesus knows you're here."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, turned the flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out to disconnect the wires, clear as a bell, he heard, "Jesus is watching you."

Startled, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.

"Yes," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed, "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

"The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus"

My girlfriend told me to get something to make her look sexy for her birthday.

So I bought myself a 12 pack.

My top 3 assumptions when doorbell rings:

  1. Murderer 2. Police telling me everyone is dead 3. That book I ordered about positive thinking

Looks like Trump is keeping up Michelle's ideals of getting America fit again.

One day in office and he has thousands of people getting up and going out for walks on this beautiful Saturday morning.

My math teacher called me average.

How mean!