It's not like it's the end of the world
Chủ Nhật, 29 tháng 1, 2017
A guy dies and wakes up on a beach.
Nice weather, hot girls playing beach volleyball, barbecues everywhere, laughter and joy. All of a sudden, Satan comes up to him. "Welcome to hell. Enjoy yourself, have a drink, have a hamburger and check out the area. If you need anything or have a question, feel free to ask me." he says. The guy walks along the beach, has a few drinks with a nice girl. He walks over a hill, when he sees a hole in the ground, full with tormented people, flames rising up from the hole. The guy runs towards the beach until he finds Satan. "Hey, I found this hole and all these people are being tormented... What´s that about?" "Oh," Satan says, "that´s for the Christians, they want it that way."
2 Christians are lost in the Arabian desert
The first day is hot, and they're miserable after running out of food and water. The night is surprisingly cold and even worse than the day. The second day and night are even worse.
On the third morning, hotter than the past 2 days, they see a mosque. "We're saved!" exclaims one. The other is wary and says he doesn't think they'll help Christians. The first says he doesn't care, he's so hungry he'd rather be killed than starve. The second one decides to tell them he's Muslim.
They arrive and the first man says he's Christian and asks for help. The Muslims are very friendly and tell him they have plenty of food and water for him. The second one tells them he's Muslim. The reply: "Salaam, brother! Happy Ramadan!"
The Unemployed Engineer
An engineer who was unemployed for a long time decided to open a medical clinic. He puts a sign outside the clinic: "A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; we'll pay you $1,000 if we fail." A Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic. Doctor: "I have lost my sense of taste." Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." Doctor: "This is Gasoline!" Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500." The Doctor gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later to recover his money. Doctor: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything." Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." Doctor: "But that is Gasoline!" Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500." The Doctor leaves angrily and comes back after several days, more determined than ever to make his money back. Doctor: "My eyesight has become weak." Engineer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for this. Take this $1,000," passing the doctor a $500 note. Doctor: "But this is $500..." Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your vision back! That will be $500."
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