Me: *Playing Ouija board*

Me: What's your name?

Ouija Board: I H A V E A B O Y F R I E N D

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I got frostbite and had part of my foot amputated. Then my girlfriend left me.

She was lack-toes intolerant.

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Sally can't sell seashells down by the seashore anymore...

She was busted for conch-traband.

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MOM! I'm being called gay in school.

Who is calling you that son?

A bunch of cute boys.

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What do you call a werewolf that doesn't know he's a werewolf?

An unawarewolf.

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A man with no carnal desires walks into a Freudian psychoanalyst's office

The psychoanalyst stops him and says, "hey, buddy, I'm gonna need to see some id."

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3 Drunk guys entered a taxi.

3 drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "Thank you". The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked "What was that for?". The 3rd guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"

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