Because elephants never forget.
Thứ Sáu, 3 tháng 2, 2017
Engineers and Lawyers
Three lawyers are buying tickets for a train to Chicago. Ahead of them in line, three engineers purchase a single ticket.
One of the lawyers asks, "How are you going to travel with just a ticket between the three of you?"
"Watch and you'll see," winks one of the engineers.
The train arrives, and the six of them climb on. The three lawyers take their seats while the three engineers pile into a bathroom. The train gets underway.
A conductor starts making his rounds. Noticing the bathroom is occupied, he knocks on the door and asks, "Ticket, please."
The door cracks open a hair, and a single ticket is offered. The conductor punches it, and continues on.
The three lawyers admit that this is a good trick, and that they should try it on their next journey. As luck would have it, after spending a few days in Chicago, they see that the three engineers will be on board their train. The lawyers purchase a single ticket for the three of them, while the engineers don't buy a ticket at all.
One of the lawyers asks, "How are you going to ride, if you don't have a ticket?"
"Watch and you'll see," came the reply.
The lawyers get on the train, and scramble into a bathroom. The engineers cram themselves into an adjacent bathroom. The train leaves, and picks up speed. One of the engineers gets out of the bathroom, walks over to the lawyers' bathroom, and knocks.
"Ticket, please."
What's the difference between a rock musician and a jazz musician?
A rock musician plays 3 chords for 20,000 people, and a jazz musician plays 20,000 chords for 3 people
Told an inmate to have a safe drive home.
I'm a corrections officer, getting ready to head out at shift change:
Inmate: "drive home safe" Me: "yeah you too..." Me: (thinking "oops, ouch") Coworker: "Muahahaha" Inmate: (hops into his imaginary car and shuffles to his cell making farting engine noises, screeches the brakes, steps out of his car and into his cell. Pokes his head out) "Made it home safe dad" Me and my coworker burst out laughing
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