Teacher asks class: "use the word Dandelion in a sentence"
Jamaican student: "the cheetah is faster dandelion"
Everyone dies
Thứ Tư, 8 tháng 2, 2017
A cop goes up to the window of a car he's just pulled over
Cop: "Any drugs or alcohol today?" Man: "No but I vape" Cop: "Look pal, I don't give a shit if you're gay, just answer the question."
QUEEN Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day.
QUEEN Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven. Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in. The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven. Dolly takes off her top and says, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity". The Angel thanks Dolly and asks Her Majesty the same question. The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, and drinks it down. Then, pees into a toilet and pulls the lever. The Angel says, "ok, your Majesty, you may go in". Dolly is outraged and asked,"What was that all about, I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down. She pees into a toilet and she gets in! Would you explain that to me"? "Sorry, Dolly says the Angel, but even in Heaven A Royal Flush Beats a Pair No Matter How Big They Are".
Syria's Secret Mass Executions
Syria's Secret Mass Executions
An investigation from Amnesty International details Assad's attempt to create a phony paper trail to cover up mass executions in Syria.
February 7, 2017 at 09:46AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2kH6EgX
A man makes a bet with his boss
He bets 500$ that he can lick his eyeball.
Laughing the boss agrees.
The man takes off a fake eyeball and licks it.
The boss angrily gives him the 500$.
The man then bets 500$ he can bite his own ears.
The boss pulls his ears to check if the man is wearing any fake ones, then agrees.
The man takes out a set of fake teeth from his mouth and bites his ear with them.
Angry, the boss gives him 500$ and tells him to go away.
The next day, the man comes back.
Boss: What now? Didn't you take enough money from me?
Man: Trust me. This one should be easy. I bet you all your money back that you are wearing purple underwear.
Boss: Haha! My underwear is black!
Man: May I see some proof?
The boss goes to the washroom and brings back his underwear in his hands.
The man cheerfully hands 1000$ to the boss.
Boss: Why are you so happy?
Man: Look around you. All around the office's glass walls your 43 employees are watching.
Boss: And..?
Man: I bet each of them 500$ that I can make you take off your underwear.
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