You have to drop the Bomb twice before she gets the Message.
Thứ Ba, 14 tháng 2, 2017
A schoolreunion
A man named Chris sits down at a table at his high-school reunion. It's been a while since the last reunion, and he can't seem to remember a single face from the crowd.
Suddenly another guy sits down beside Chris. The man is very tall, about 6'3, and his face is stretched out. As if someone was pulling his face up and down at the same time.
The man introduces himself as John, a childhood friend of Chris. Chris remembers the name very well, but the man sitting beside him doesn't look anything like what he did in high-school.
No worries, John says. Almost no one recognizes me anymore. I used to be short and chubby, but nowadays I'm tall as a redwood and slim as a twig. This change of appearance happened in only a few months too! John laughs.
Chris seems a bit puzzled, so John tells him a bit more about what has happened in his life during this last year.
About eight months ago me and my wife lived in a slightly unsafe neighborhood. We were fine with it as we both own guns, and know what to avoid there. The situation changed when my wife got pregnant. We didn't want to raise our child in an unsafe place, so we decided to move into a gated community. A few weeks after we made our decision we found out that the CEO of Tesla, Elon Musk, was remaking a whole neighborhood into a modern gated community to test prototypes for Tesla. A lot of people applied to get a house there, and luckily we were accepted. The grounds are very secure, and no one but the inhabitants and different services get in or out. The only weird thing about living there is that we noticed that we started to stretch out a bit. When i moved there i was a bit below 5'7, but as you can notice I'm much taller now. Same goes for everyone else in the area.
Well why don't you leave? It seems very weird to live in a place where you mystically stretch out when you move in.
I guess that is the price of living in an Elon-gated community
I walk into a hardware store..
Any two-watt bulbs? For what? That'll do. I'll take two. Two what? I thought you didn't have any. Any what? Yes please."
Remember when you were a kid and when you cried your parents said, "I'll give you a reason to cry"?
I always thought they were gunna hit me, not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.
I've translated a popular Russian joke to English , wanna hear you reaction ))
A young boy says to his father "Dad, our math teacher is asking to see you."
"What happened?" The father asks.
"Well, she asks me, 'how much is 7 * 9?' I answer '63' , then she asks, 'and 9 * 7?' so I asked 'what's the fucking difference?' "
"Indeed, what is the difference?" asks the father. ''Sure, I'll go.''
The next day, the boy comes home from school "Dad, have you gone by the school?" He asks.
"Not yet."
"Well when you do, come and see the gym teacher also."
"Why?" asks the father.
The boy explains, "Well we had a gym class today, and he asked me to raise my left arm, I did. Then my right arm, I also raised it. Then he asked me to lift my right leg, so I did. 'Now,' he says, 'lift your left leg,' so I asked 'What, am I suppose to stand on my cock!?'"
"Exactly," says the father. "Alright, I'll come."
The next day, the boy asks his father "Did you go to the school?"
"No, not yet."
"Don't bother, I got expelled."
Surprised, the father asks "Why did you get expelled?"
"Well, they summoned me to the principal's office, and sitting there were the math teacher, the gym teacher, and the art teacher."
"The fuck was the art teacher doing there!?" asks the father.
"That's what I said" replied the boy.
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