A small loan of a million dollars
Thứ Tư, 15 tháng 2, 2017
A mathematician, a philosopher, and an idiot come before the gates of heaven.
St. Peter looks over the three of them and says, "Heaven's getting pretty full, so I can only let one of you in. The other two will have to go to hell." So he snaps his fingers and Satan appears.
Satan says, "Each of you can ask me one question. If you can stump me on the first try, you win, and you get to go to heaven."
So first the mathematician steps up to Satan, and he says, "Give me a complete proof for Squaring the Circle." Satan snaps his fingers, and a big pile of papers appears in front of the man. He looks over the proof carefully, and finally concedes, looking rather glum, "This is indeed proof of Squaring the Circle." In a flash of fire and brimstone, he goes to hell.
Next the philosopher comes up to Satan and says, "I'd like a written proof that god is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnibenevolent." Once again, Satan simply snaps his fingers, and another stack of papers appears. The philosopher rifles through them, and finally concedes, "I know we're right outside heaven right now, but I hadn't really though that this proof could exist until I saw it just now." In a second flash of fire and brimstone, he falls straight down to hell.
Finally the idiot strides up to Satan, looking confident. "Bring me a plastic chair and a power drill!" he pronounces. Seeming confused, Satan conjures up the requested items. The idiot takes his drill and wildly drills about a dozen holes in the seat of the chair, in no pattern at all.
He then sits on the chair and farts loudly. He slyly looks up at Satan, then asks, "Which hole did my fart go through?"
Satan picks up the chair, and holds it up to the light. He turns it this way and that, and pokes his fingers through various holes, and he examines it every way he can.
Finally, after about five minutes, he sets it down, and confidently answers: "It went through the second whole whole on the left. It had to be. The aerodynamics can't have worked out any other way."
The man jumps up and gleefully exclaims, "Wrong! IT WENT THROUGH MY ASSHOLE!"
Saint Peter lets him into heaven.
Guy goes to a department store with his wife.
Guy loses sight of her and notices another guy walking in circles, looking for something. They have a chat and realize they're both looking for their wives.
Guy asks: "What does your wife look like?" to which the other guy replies: "Well, she's about six feet tall, in her early twenties, blonde hair, well-endowed and has the prettiest smile in the world. What about your wife?"
Guy replies: "Never mind. Let's look for yours!"
Why Keanu Reeves is a perfect action star
Why Keanu Reeves is a perfect action star
Not all films understand how to utilize the actor’s inherent blankness. Those that do benefit greatly.
February 14, 2017 at 10:00PM
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