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Thứ Sáu, 3 tháng 3, 2017

This blind guy walks into a lesbian bar...

sits down at the bar and orders a drink. The lesbian bartender realizes he's blind so she serves him. He sits there for a while and then announces that he has a blonde joke to tell. The bartender says,"Just so you know, you're in lesbian bar and there are 5 blonde, badass, butch, lesbians sitting on either side of you so you might wanna reconsider telling a blonde joke." The blind man immediately says,"Oh, yeah never mind." The bartender laughs and say,"Don't wanna get your ass kicked, do ya." The blind man says,"No, I just don't wanna have to explain the joke 5 times."

What's the difference between an art student and a philosophy student?

A philosophy student asks you why you want fries with that

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me

It means a lot.

If you're depressed, try drinking a pint of water before going to bed.

It'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.

I before E

Except when you run a weird heist on a feisty foreign overweight neighbor wearing beige.

A girl walks into a dry cleaner

She drops off her dress and turns to leave. The owner says, "Come again!". She says, "No it was toothpaste this time."

All those years of phone sex has caught up with me...

I now have hearing aids