But mid-way through development they made the switch.
Chủ Nhật, 5 tháng 3, 2017
A man wakes hungover
A man wakes up in his bed with a terrible hangover. He looks to his bedside table and finds some ibuprofen and a glass of water. He glances around the bedroom and sees that it is cleaner than usual and his work clothes are laid out. He pops the ibuprofen and washes it down with water, and finds a note stuck to the bottom of the glass.
"Hey, honey, I ran to the store, there's breakfast downstairs, I'll be right back XOXO."
Upon getting dressed and getting his wits, he goes downstairs to find that everything is immaculate. He enters the dining room to find his son at the table eating breakfast, on the table is a buffet of eggs, bacon, pancakes, fruit, yogurt, the whole nine yards.
Still foggy and hungover, he plops down at the table, glances around at the pristine home. His son asks, "How are you feeling?"
"What the hell happened last night?"
"Well, you came home, stumbling drunk. You knocked on your own door, waking everyone up. You knocked over, not one, but TWO bookcases. You also puked all over yourself while you were puking into the litter box. You were a total mess."
Dumbfounded and glancing around, he asked, "then what is all of this? The food, everything is clean, I'm confused..."
"Oh, yeah, well, mom was trying to take your puke covered clothes off and put you to bed, and as she was taking your pants off, you yelled, 'GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, WOMAN!!! I'M A MARRIED MAN!"
A teenage girl was being intimate with her boyfriend...
At her parents house. Her father after being woken by the noises goes upstairs to check it out, and walks in on them.
"Dad!" she exclaimed in a panic "...I'm sorry"
The dad being a dad replies "hi sorry, I'm Dad!"
He then turns to the boyfriend and asks "Are you fucking sorry?"
A lady walks into an adult store...
She tells the clerk she wants something new. The clerk shows her a bunch of new products but the lady is unimpressed. The clerk says he has one more item that she is sure to be interested in. He reaches below the counter and pulls out a small metal case and opens it in front of her. She looks inside and sees a dildo.
Lady: It's just a dildo. I have plenty of those.
Clerk: No this is not just any dildo. This is a voodoo dildo.
Lady: A voodoo dildo? What's a voodoo dildo?
Clerk: A voodoo dildo is the last personal vibrator you'll ever need. All you have to do is call it's name and a place and it automatically goes to work. Watch. Voodoo dildo keyhole.
The voodoo dildo floats up out of its case and flys over to the keyhole and starts going to work. The woman is immediately impressed and says "I'll take it".
She races home and goes straight to her bedroom and gets undressed. She opens the case and lies down in her bed.
Lady: Voodoo dildo pussy.
The voodoo dildo floats out of its case and and immediately goes to work. It is the most incredible experience the lady has ever had. She experiences orgasm after orgasm, until she can't take it anymore. She soon realises that she dosent know how to turn the voodoo dildo off. After trying everything she can think of to get it to stop she decides that she needs to go to a hospital to get it removed. She puts on a robe and gets in her car and drives. As she's driving she continues to experience orgasms causing her to drive erratically. A cop notices her driving and pulls her over.
Cop: Maam, i noticed you driving erratically, have you been drinking?
Lady: No sir. I have this voodoo dildo inside of me and it's causing me to drive that way.
Cop: Ya right....Voodoo dildo my ass.
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