I don't want anyone to know I have a google+ account...
Thứ Ba, 14 tháng 3, 2017
I got into a bad fight with my girlfriend last night. It turned ugly because she thought I cheated, and I hadn't
We’re in the kitchen and she tries to hit me with a Spatula. I react pretty quickly but all I have is a dish to block it with; but it’s simply no match.
All hell breaks loose when she tried to go for the midsection with Knives. I got lucky and was defended with my well-placed Buckle. It’s getting worse because she still insists I cheated. Her Malice and Wrath are overcoming my Logic and Reason.
I’m in self-preservation mode now and all I want to do is defend myself. She has me trapped in the corner and I’m looking around for something to use. I think I have nothing but I concentrate and look again. Boom!!! I hit her hard with a perfectly placed Backhand… right across a double word score and a triple word score and I beat her by 10 points in Words with Friends.
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman...
...walk into a pub. They all sit next to each other at the bar, and all three order a pint of Guinness. Right as they get their pints, a fly lands in each one's drink. The Englishman turns up his nose disgustedly, and pushes the glass away. The Scotsman picks the fly out of his stout, throws it over his shoulder, and begins drinking. Then the Irishman picks the fly out of his drink, holds it by its soaked little wings over his glass, and yells, "SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT YOU LITTLE BASTARD!"
Convincing your girlfriend she's crazy or paranoid is called gaslighting, and it's a dick move.
But convincing her she's a robot with artificial implanted human emotions is called bladerunning. It's a Phillip K. Dick move.
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