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Thứ Sáu, 24 tháng 3, 2017

If a deaf person goes to court

Is it still a hearing?

Call it a hunch...

But I'm pretty sure I have an abnormal convex curvature of the upper spine.

A hunter shoots a deer and is pulling it back to his truck

A farmer passes by and says, "Hey you shot that deer on my property. That makes that deer mine."

The hunter says, "No way, I tracked it, I shot it, it's mine."

The farmer says, "Ok Ok...we'll settle this the old way."

"The old way?"

"Yes. We'll take turns kicking each other in the nuts and the first guy who can't take it anymore loses. The winner gets the deer."

The hunter thinks about this and he says, "Ok, let's do it."

The farmer says, "Ok, let me go first." He takes a big wind up and just nails the hunter right in the nuts with his big dirty farmer boots.

The hunter doubles over in pain, huffing and puffing for a few minutes. He finally gets up, still panting and says, "Ok Ok...I'm still in...my turn."

The farmer says, "Nah, you can keep the deer."

"Sweetheart, I'm pregnant.", "High pregnant, I'm dad!"

"Actually, you're not."

When Anne has a will...

Anne Hathaway

Mom: Son, why dont you talk to Mark anymore? You used to be best friends.

Son: Well would you talk to someone who is stupid, uses drugs and is an alchocolic? Mom: Of course not. Son: Well neither would he.

I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging few years ago.

Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.