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Chủ Nhật, 26 tháng 3, 2017

The difference between Oo and oO

Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.

The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time.

I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday.

"On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?

""Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever.

""Seventeen people? That's wonderful. How did you do it? "

"I used a diagram, your honor.

I drew two circles like this: O o.

Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs."

"That's admirable," says the judge.

Then he turns to the second guy. "And how did you do?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."

"Wow!" says the judge. "156 people! How did you manage to do that?"

"Well, I used a similar diagram," the guy says.

"I drew two circles like this: o O.

Then I pointed to the little circle and said, 'This is your asshole before prison."

As of today, I'm finally not a 25 year old virgin anymore.

I'm a 26 year old one.

What do prime numbers and stoners have in common?

The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.

Why does the penis have a knob at the end?

This question has bothered mankind for hundreds of years. Finally an American University commissioned a $100,000 study and after many months of research concluded that its purpose was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

The conclusions were not universally accepted and the French Government funded a $3,000,000 multi year study that concluded that its purpose was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

An Australian examined these two experiments and decided to do his own investigation. He spent $20 on a six pack of beer and after 15 minutes concluded both the American and French studies were wrong. The purpose of the knob at the end of the penis is to stop your hand sliding off when having a wank.

If I had a crystal ball...

I'd sit down really carefully...

Thứ Bảy, 25 tháng 3, 2017

Meeting with the boss

BOSS: Know why I called you in here?

ME: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic

BOSS [stops pouring 2 glasses of wine] Accidentally?

Dark humor: Explained

Dark humor is like a child with cancer

It never gets old