How Clown Pants Saved My Life
When his year went to hell, Zach Baron started to wear weird clothes and wonder: Can you fix yourself on the inside by changing what you wear on the outside?
March 30, 2017 at 11:14PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2nzKI6o
Thứ Sáu, 31 tháng 3, 2017
How Clown Pants Saved My Life
How Clown Pants Saved My Life
When his year went to hell, Zach Baron started to wear weird clothes and wonder: Can you fix yourself on the inside by changing what you wear on the outside?
March 30, 2017 at 11:14PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2nzKI6o
A guy walks into a bar and notices a jar of money on the bar.
A guy walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.
He guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it.
He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?"
"Well, you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money..."
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up. "What are the three tests?"
"Pay first. Those are the rules," says the bartender. So the man gives him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar.
"O.K.," the bartender says. "Here's what you need to do:
First, you have to drink an entire gallon of pepper tequila, the whole thing, all at once and you can't make a face while doing it.
Second, there is pit bull chained up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.
Third, there's a 90 year old woman upstairs who has never reached orgasm during intercourse. You've got to make things right for her."
The man is stunned. "I know I paid my $10, but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then do those other things!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but your money stays where it is."
As time goes on the man has a few drinks, then a few more, and he asks, "Where's zat tequila?"
He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a few big slurps. Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face.
Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up and soon the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy scuffle going on outside.
They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping and then silence.
Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar with his shirt ripped and large bloody scratches all over his body.
"NOW," he says, "Where's the old woman with the sore tooth?"
Construction Worker Joke
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!". The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!
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