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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Chủ Nhật, 2 tháng 4, 2017

Fascinating joke

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's... farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

If you think your microwave spying on you is bad...

Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.

I just ran over my dog.

April fools! I don't know whose dog it was.

As told to me by an 85 year old shriner clown

Little 8 year old Susie is in her back yard digging a hole. Her neighbor Mr. Johnson peeks over the fence and says "gee Susie, what's going on?" Susie says "I'm digging a hole, it's pretty obvious." Mr. Johnson asks "why are you digging a hole?" Susie replies "I'm burying my gold fish." Mr Johnson laughs and asks "Why is the hole so big?" Susie replies "Because my goldfish is inside your fucking cat". Edit: He will be happy to know you liked it! Not sure he would get the whole reddit front page thing though.

Thứ Bảy, 1 tháng 4, 2017

What's the difference between a guy with an Arts Major, and a guy with a Philosophy Major?

One will ask WHY you want fries with that!

What has 8 eyes and 8 legs?

8 pirates.

A math professor, John, is having problems with his sink so he calls a plumber.

The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, "How can you charge this much? This is half of my paycheck." But he pays it anyways.

The plumber tells him, "Hey, we are looking for more plumbers. You could become a plumber and triple your salary. Just make sure you say you only made it to 6th grade, they don't like educated people."

The professor takes him up on the offer and becomes a plumber. His salary triples and he doesn't have to work nearly as hard. But the company makes an announcement that all of their plumbers must get a 7th grade education. So they all go to night school.

On the first day of night school they all attend math class. The teacher wants to gauge the class so he asks John, "What is the formula for the area of a circle?"

John walks up to the board and is about to write the formula when he realizes he has forgotten it. So he begins to attempt to derive the formula, filling the board with complicated mathematics. He ends up figuring out it is negative pi times radius squared. He thinks the minus doesn't belong so he starts over, but again he comes up with the same equation. After staring at the board for a minute he looks out at the other plumbers and sees that they are all whispering, "Switch the limits on the integral!"