It's groundbreaking.
Chủ Nhật, 2 tháng 4, 2017
"What is a tragedy?", asks Trump.
During one of his campaign trips Donald Trump is visiting an elementary school and goes into one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asks Mr. Trump if he would like to lead the discussion of the word “Tragedy.” So he asks the class for an example of a tragedy.
One little boy stands up and offers: “If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.”
“No,” says Mr. Trump, “that would be an accident.”
A little girl raises her hand: “If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.”
“I’m afraid not,” explains the exalted businessman. “That’s what we would call a great loss.”
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Mr. Trump searches the room.
“Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”
Finally at the back of the room, a boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: “If a private jet carrying you was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.”
“Fantastic!” exclaims Mr. Trump, “That’s absolutely right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”
“Well,” says the boy, “because it wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.”
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in Washington D.C. One from Bangladesh , another from India and the third, from China.
The Bangladesh contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. ($400 for materials, $400 for my team and $100 profit for me)".
The Chinese contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700. ($300 for materials, $300 for my team and $100 profit for me)".
The Indian contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."
The official, outraged says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The Indian contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from China to fix the fence"
A man dies and goes to hell
There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
He goes to the German hell and asks,
"What do they do there?"
He told, "First they put you in an electric chair♨ for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
The man doesn't like it, so he moves on and checks out the American hell, the Russian hell and hells of other countries.
He finds that they're all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long queue of people waiting to get in.
Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"
He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the Indian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells; so why are so many people waiting to get in here?" wonders the man.
He is told, "Because the maintenance here is so bad that the electric chair does not work.
Someone has stolen all the nails from the bed
and the Indian devil is a former government servant,
So he just comes, signs the attendance register and then goes to the canteen."
Avoid if you're one of those who voted for trump
A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, “I want to be President one day.” Trump says, “Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?”
The kid replies, “You know what, I’ve changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.”
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