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Thứ Năm, 6 tháng 4, 2017

Football with a blonde girlfriend

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

My son is such a prick. I bought him a trampoline and he won't even jump on it.

He just sits in his wheelchair and cries.

In a world without Muslims, there wouldn't be a 911.

We'd have to say CMXI instead.

Well I'd be damned

A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school...

Teacher: Whats your name? Boy: Nadir Teacher: No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today. Boy went home and his mother asked: How was the day Nadir? Boy: I am an American now, so call me Johnny.

Mom and Dad both got offended and beat him up. Next day he was back to school all bruised...

Teacher: What happened Johnny? Boy: Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists.

A muslim man came into my shop and bought six smoke machines, so I phoned the police..

He's probably part of an extreme mist group

22 companies pull advertising from 'The O'Reilly Factor'


22 companies pull advertising from 'The O'Reilly Factor'
The number of companies pulling their advertising from Fox News' "The O'Reilly Factor," hosted by Bill O'Reilly, continues to increase — the current tally now stands at 22, with Coldwell Banker being the latest.

April 5, 2017 at 06:31PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2o2y8id

I bought my son a puppy for his birthday, but I accidentally backed over him in the driveway and killed him...

Sure is gonna be tough raising this puppy without him.