"But," she said, "I bought your favorite soy sauce to help cheer you up."
"Great," I said. "Just Kikkoman when he's down, huh?"
I'm very soy for that pun. I'll just wok away now.
Chủ Nhật, 9 tháng 4, 2017
A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?" His wife is puzzled and asks if hes been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "Hes on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if hed like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"She's in the Ladies Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Daves wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.
An American, an Italian, and a German are applying for a job.
In the wake of WWII, the newly founded CIA needed the best of the best. An American, an Italian, and a German have made it to the final round of interviews.
The three are sitting together in a barren room, when an agent walks in.
"Congratulation, each of you have made it to the final round of interviews. To your right there are three rooms. In each room, there is a woman, blindfolded. There is also a loaded revolver. You must kill her. The woman is your mother."
The American stands up, and with great disgust simply walks out of the room.
The Italian stands up, with conviction, and heads to his door and walks in. In a matter of seconds, he could be heard sobbing. He opens the doors, tears running down his face, and walks out.
The German, looking a bit perplexed, gets up and walks through the door, shutting it behind him. Almost as soon as the door shuts... "Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!"
Then silence...
After a moment, some commotion can be heard, and the sound of wood breaking, followed by... "Slam! Slam! Slam!"
The German walks out of the room, a bit sweaty, but collected. He takes his seat and calmly explains, "The gun was loaded with blanks... so I used the chair. It is done."
Thứ Bảy, 8 tháng 4, 2017
Two women are discussing their love lives
Jo says: "I have to be careful not to get pregnant."
Jenny looks confused. "But I thought Tony recently had a vasectomy."
"He did." says Jo. "That's why I need to be extra careful."
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