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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Sáu, 14 tháng 4, 2017

Daughter's vibrator

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.

What are you doing?" she exclaimed.

The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."

Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on the sofa with her vibrator.

"What are you doing?" he exclaimed.

The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."

A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room. In there, she found her husband watching the Super Bowl on television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him.

"What are you doing?" she exclaimed.

He replied............"Watching the game with my son-in-law."

The US just dropped a new single today

It quickly became the number 1 hit in Afghanistan

A shipwreck occurred, only Scarlett Johansson and some random dude survived on an deserted island...

They didn't know each other before the shipwreck, but he did know who she was... At the beginning it was hard, but as time passed, this guy learnt how to provide food and shelter, he started taking care of her, and eventually she started caring about him... after all, there wasn't anybody else in the island... He eventually built a cabin, had a functioning automatic potable water supply, and all sorts of little clever commodities, all done to make her life easier... it was the most effort any man had ever done for her, and all the hard work made him fit, she noticed this...

One night after some wildlife attacked and he defended her successfully, getting a few cuts in the process, she threw herself at him and they made love, after that, they where for all intents and purposes a couple with an above regular sex life.

But for some reason he started drifting away, something was bothering him. And she noticed... "What's wrong?" Scarlett Johansson asked, "Nothing..." the guy would say... She pestered him for a while eventually saying she would do ANYTHING he needed or wanted to make him feel good again, just because she really cared for him a lot, and even if he wasn't asking, she felt it was the least she owed it to him...

"Really?, you'll do anything I'd like?" "yes" she said "anything!" "OK, first i want you to take off your toga and get into this pair of work jeans that somehow washed on the shore" "OK..." "Now put this shirt on please, but first, "tape" your boobs so they are flat" "Wha... ok, I'd say I'd do anything" she said lovingly. "Ok, now, take this hat and wear it, but tuck your hair under it" she was kinda confused, but non the less, she wanted to make him happy, so she tuck her hair under the hat. "Now id like for you to grab this piece of soot and paint yourself a beard and a mustache" "OK... if this is what you want..." she muttered. "now, please, put on these sunglasses, and start walking down the beach ill catch up to you in a bit" he said a bit excited...

She started walking... wondering... doubting herself... just confused about what had just happened, maybe it wasn't her, maybe it was h... Suddenly the guy grabs her by her shoulder turns her around and says: "DUDE!!! you wont believe who I've been fucking for the past 6 months!"

Before-and-After Photos: The End of California's Drought


Before-and-After Photos: The End of California's Drought
After the state's wettest winter on record, things are getting back to normal.

April 13, 2017 at 11:58PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2oD71e7

I invented a new word today

Plagiarism

Teacher: "Why are you late?"

Student: "Someone told me to go to hell."

Teacher: "Why did that make you late to class?"

Student: "I couldn't find it at first, but now here I am."

A kid gets in a taxi

The taxi driver tries to be funny and to ridicule the kid.

If your mom would be an idiot, what would you be?

An idiot, answers the kid.

The driver starts laughing

If your dad was a retard, what would you be?

A retard, answers the kid.

If your dad was a retard and your mom was an idiot, what would you be?

A taxi driver, answers the kid