"Nervous?" asked the interviewer, I simply replied "No I always give 110%"
Thứ Bảy, 15 tháng 4, 2017
A suicide bomber blew himself up and appeared before Allah
He said, "Oh, Allah, I did your bidding, but I have a request. Since I'm only 18 and spent all my time in terrorist training school, I never was with a woman. So, instead of 72 virgins, who also won't know what to do sexually, can I have 72 prostitutes?"
Allah regarded him for a moment, then replied, "Actually, 72 virgins are here in heaven because bastards like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So you're here to service them. Since they're virgins, they're quite sexually ravenous; and, frankly, you'll be on constant, exhausting duty."
The bomber responded, "Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?"
And Allah replied, "Who said they were women?"
Thứ Sáu, 14 tháng 4, 2017
A man sees his shed being robbed...
A man, about to crawl into bed with his wife for the night, looks out his window to see 3 men robbing his shed. So, he calls the police. "Hello, I see three men stealing from my shed, can you please send someone down here?" The operator replies, "I'm sorry sir, but there's no units available in your area. It will take 30 minutes for someone to get to you." The man thinks this is odd, but hangs up.
A minute later he calls back and says, "Ok, you can take your time now, because I've shot them all." Within 6 minutes police cruisers arrive on-scene and catch the 3 robbers red-handed. A police officer walks up to the man and says, "I thought you said you'd shot them all?" The man replies, "I thought you said there were no units available in the area?"
Three Pregnant Ladies
Three pregnant women were waiting in the doctor’s waiting room for an antenatal check-up and were all knitting garments for their respective babies.
Suddenly the first expectant mother stops knitting, checks her watch, pulls a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one.
"What was that?", the other two ask, curiously.
"Calcium tablet. Good for mommy, good for baby", she replies, patting her stomach affectionately.
Satisfied, all three continue with their knitting. Five minutes later, the second one stops knitting, checks her watch, takes a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one.
"What was that?", the other two enquire.
"Vitamin tablet", she replies, “Good for mommy, good for baby" and she pats her stomach affectionately.
All three smile and continue busily with their knitting. Five minutes later, the last woman stops knitting, checks her watch, takes a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one.
"What was that?" ask the other two.
"Thalidomide. I can’t knit sleeves."
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