My girlfriend and I laugh at how competitive we are.

but I laugh more.

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Why did Stalin only write in lowercase?

Because he hated capitalism

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Is sex a joke?

Because I don't get it.

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"How can you watch porn but still claim you love only me?" My wife asked

" The same way I watch Formula 1 whole weekend but still drive my 2002 Toyota Camry everyday" I replied..

That satisfied her...

I just failed to mention I take rental at Enterprise when I go on business trips

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Historians Say The March For Science Is 'Pretty Unprecedented'

Historians Say The March For Science Is 'Pretty Unprecedented'
Tens of thousands of scientists and their allies are expected to demonstrate in Washington, D.C., on Saturday, with hundreds of additional satellite marches planned to boot.

April 22, 2017 at 10:32PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2q1NEsP

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Mugger: Give me all your stuff or you're science!

Me: Don't you mean history?

Mugger: Don't try to change the subject!

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What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.

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