It's down to two guys at a job interview.

Both of the men interviewing are equally qualified all the way down to eagle scout so the interviewer has an idea. "The one of you that can give me the better poem ending in Timbuktu gets the job." The first guy stands up and says, "Out across the desert sand went a lonely caravan. Underneath the sky so blue, their destination, Timbuktu." The second guy just sat there stunned. He knew he couldn't compete and was about to give up when inspiration stuck. "Me and Tim a fishing went when we saw three ladies in a tent. They being three, and we being two, I bucked one Tim bucked two."

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I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon today

I'll let you know.

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Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?

Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?

Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?

Interviewer: Brown one.

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer: And the black one?

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer(naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat?

Farmer: Which one? Black or brown?

Interviewer: Black.

Farmer: It eats grass.

Interviewer: And the other one?

Farmer: Grass.

Interviewer(now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?!

Farmer: Because the black one’s mine.

Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one?

Farmer: It’s also mine

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Woman: What's your job?

Man: I empty dishwashers

Woman: So you're like a maid?

Man: No, I deliver babies

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A Man Coming Home from the Bar

James gets up from his barstool after a long night drinking alone and falls right to the floor.

He crawls to the door, pulls himself up to open it, and falls through the door as it swings open.

James continues this process as he crawls home pulling himself by his hands; falling to the floor with every pull.

As he rounds the corner to his apartment, James pulls himself up to the door knob, inserts the key and twist it and the door open. As much expected, James collapses to the floor, unable to support himself in this drunken state.

James finally makes it up the stairs to the room where his wife is soundly sleeping. He wrestles with himself while removing his clothes, attempting to be as quiet as possible.

James decides that he cannot make it into the shower to clean himself off, and he pulls himself up into bed.

Unsuccessfully, James awoke his wife on his way into bed. She stared at him angrily and said, "You were out at the bar again, weren't you?"

"No," said James, trying to sound inconspicuous. "I was out at the movies with a some buddies."

"Don't lie to me." Said his wife. "The bar called and they said you left your wheelchair there."

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The Myth of a Superhuman AI – Backchannel

The Myth of a Superhuman AI – Backchannel
Why hyper-intelligent algorithms are not going to take over the world.

April 27, 2017 at 09:10AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2p5OCGA

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A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend...

She was thrilled at the speed. "If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes.Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.

"Go and get help!" he cried.

"But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!"

"Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself."

Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!"

The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's gone in too far.".

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