That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.
Chủ Nhật, 30 tháng 4, 2017
A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" store looking for a job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The young guy says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota." Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor. "How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one? Our sales people average sales to 25 to 30 customers a day. This is gonna have to change very soon if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida. One sale a day might have been acceptable in North Dakota, but you're not on the farm anymore, son." The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?" The kid looks up at his boss and says "$124,548.88". The boss, astonished, says $124,548.88??? What the heck did you sell?" The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Chevrolet Suburban." The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a SUV???" The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Bro, your weekend's a mess, you should go fishing.
A man walks into a bar and sees a sign... [NSFW]
It reads: Toasted Sandwiches- $2, Handjobs- $5.
He approaches the bar and sees a stunning large breasted, tight waisted blonde goddess serving.
He asks her, "Are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
She leans towards him, resting her breasts on the bar and says, "Why, yes I am." With a wink.
To which he replies: "Well go and wash your fucking hands before you make my sandwich!"
I told my boyfriend we could watch a porn for his birthday
I told my boyfriend we could watch a porn for his birthday and do everything that we saw in the video… He was super psyched, until I fucked the pizza guy.
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