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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Năm, 4 tháng 5, 2017

What's the difference between weed and pussy?

If you can smell weed from across the room, it means it's good.

I got jumped by five black guys in Baltimore.

The car started right up but they said I'd need a new battery.

When you are old you can always play the senility card

An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married and settled down in their old neighborhood. To celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary, they walked down to their old school. There, they held hands as they found the desk they shared and where he'd carved "I love you, Sally". On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car practically at their feet. She quickly picked it up, but they didn't know what to do with it, so they took it home. There, she counted the money - it was $50,000! The husband said: "We've got to give it back". She said, "Finders keepers" and put the money back in the bag and hid it up in their attic. The next day, two FBI men who were going from door-to-door in the neighborhood looking for the money showed up at their home. One knocked on the door and said: "Pardon me, but did either of you find any money that fell out of an armored car yesterday?" She said: "No." The husband said: "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic." She said: "Don't believe him, he is getting senile" but the agents sat the man down and began to question him. One said: "Tell us the story from beginning." The old man said: "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday..." At this, the FBI guy looked at his partner and said: "We're outta here!"

Did you know pigeons die after having sex?

At least the one I fucked did

An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfitter walk into a bar

I know because they told me.

My friends and I started a business where we weigh tiny items

It's a small scale operation

I got kicked out of the library today...

Apparently putting the feminism books in the sci-fi section was not acceptable.