Hitler was talking to one of his generals.

Hitler: I want to kill 6 million jews and 5 clowns.

General: Why the 5 clowns?

Hitler: See? Nobody cares about ze jews!

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There was a man with a wooden leg called Steve.

I wonder what was his other leg was called.

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I was walking down the street yesterday when I saw someone pickpocket a dwarf.

I don't know how anyone could stoop so low.

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Do Transformers get car insurance or life insurance?

Neither because they live in America.

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Which country has the fastest growing capitol?

Ireland. It's Dublin every year.

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A woman walks into a pet store....

She sees a beautiful parrot with a sign on its cage: $10 OBO The lady asks the pet shop owner, "Why so cheap?" The owner says "This bird used to live in a brothel, so he says a lot of inappropriate things." The lady can't pass up the deal and decides to get the bird anyway. She gets the bird home and the first thing the bird says is "Finally cleaned up this dump, and the new madam isn't bad looking." The lady finds it amusing. Her two teen daughters get home and the bird says "New whores in the house, business will be booming tonight." The girls are shocked but laugh it off. A few hours later the woman's husband gets home and the bird says "Hey Jim."

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I saw 2 guys wearing matching clothing and asked if they were gay

They quickly arrested me

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