A ventriloquist at a comedy show is telling blonde jokes...

Suddenly, a blonde woman in the crowd stands up.

"I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype women like this? What does the color of a person’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It’s men like you that keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and men like you continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor! You should be ashamed of yourself!"

Feeling guilty, the ventriloquist begins to apologize to the woman, when she interrupts him.

"Hey, you stay out of this, Mister! I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to the little bastard on your knee!"

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Why does Hitler like acetone?

It's a Polish Remover

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Betting with a blonde

Bob walked into his favorite sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.

The 10 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Bob said, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob. "Fair's fair.” she said, “Here's your money."

Bob replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news, so I knew he would jump."

The blonde replied, "I did, too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."

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President Trump attempts suicide, fails because of broken rope.

Fake noose.

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Jake, my pussy-eating frog

A guy walks into a bar holding a frog and when he sits down next to a hot blonde, he sets the frog on the bar. She turns to him and asks, "What the hell is that frog?"

"That's Jake, my pussy-eating frog."

The blonde looks at the frog, shakes her head and goes back to her drink. An hour passes and she gets curious. "What did you say that frog was?"

"That's Jake, my pussy-eating frog."

She still can't believe it and goes back to her drink. Another hour passes and she is getting pretty intoxicated. She is really curious about the frog now. Drunkenly she asks, "Wha did you shay that frog wash?"

"That's Jake, my pussy-eating frog."

She finally bursts out, "I don't belie' that one bit! Show me!" She hikes up her skirt and sits on the bar in front of the frog. The man points at his frog and says "Jake, eat!"

The frog looks around, confused. The man says, a bit more irritated, "Jake, eat!!"

The frog looks around and doesn't know what to do. The man was really angry and said, "Jake, EAT!" The frog sits there and does nothing.

The man shakes his head and says to the frog, "All right, Jake. I'll show you ONE MORE TIME!"

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I stopped my car beside a prostitute last night.

As she got in I asked, "How much for a blow job?"

She said, "Thirty dollars."

I said, "Can you do twenty?"

"Yeah, okay", she replied.

I said, "Great, here's $600 then."

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Why was the blonde snorting Sweet and Low?

She thought it was diet coke.

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