Me: "... So you're gonna lick my butthole later?"
Thứ Ba, 16 tháng 5, 2017
A beautiful blonde boards a plane to Vancouver...
As soon as the plane takes off, she leaves her seat in the economy section, heads to first-class, and sits in an empty seat.
A flight attendant notices, and approaches the woman. "Excuse me, ma'am, may I please see your ticket?"
The woman hands her ticket to the attendant. The attendant explains to her that hers is an economy ticket, and she will need to return to her assigned seat.
Upon hearing this, the woman replies, "I'm blonde, beautiful, and I'm not moving until we get to Vancouver."
The attendant, frustrated, heads to the cockpit to explain the situation to the pilot and copilot.
"Let me have a talk with her," says the copilot, as he gets up to exit the cockpit.
Moments later, the attendant and pilot, still in the cockpit, hear the woman screaming "I'M BLONDE, BEAUTIFUL AND I'M NOT MOVING UNTIL WE GET TO VANCOUVER!"
The copilot returns to the cockpit, clearly rattled by the woman. He tells the pilot, "She's not gonna listen to anything, let control know they'll need to have security waiting when we land."
The pilot replies, "let me try. My wife is blonde; I speak their language."
He exits the cockpit. The attendant and copilot watch as he approaches the woman and whispers something in her ear. After which, she promptly gets up, thanks the pilot, and heads back to her seat in economy.
When he returns to the cockpit, the attendant and copilot, bewildered, ask him what he said to her.
"Easy," he replies, "I told her that first-class wasn't headed to Vancouver."
A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in.
The first walked up to the old man and pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie, and then he took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man and spit into the old man's milk, and then he took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man and turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter. Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?" The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver, either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles…
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