Mein Kraft
Thứ Tư, 17 tháng 5, 2017
Fast Sex
Dave wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office. But she was dating someone else. One day Dave got so frustrated that he went to her and said "I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you."
The girl looked at him and then said, "NO!"
Dave said, "I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up."
She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend.
So she called him and explained the situation. Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200 and pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down. Then give me a call."
She agreed and accepts the proposal. Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call. Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks, "What happened?"
Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, "The bastard had all quarters!"
Management lesson: Always consider a business proposition in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed.
CEOs of Carsberg, Heineken, Becks and Guiness walk into a bar
CEO of Carlsberg orders a bottle of Carlsberg.
CEO of Heineken orders a bottle of Heineken.
CEO of Becks orders a bottle of Becks.
CEO of Guiness orders diet coke with no ice.
They turn around and ask him why he ordered coke. He responds " Nobody's drinking beer. Didn't want to be the only one "
A Story of Slavery in Modern America
A Story of Slavery in Modern America
She lived with us for 56 years. She raised me and my siblings without pay. I was 11, a typical American kid, before I realized who she was.
May 17, 2017 at 05:09AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2rmcrJs
George W. Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump are going for a job interview . . .
George Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump are going for a job interview with God.
God asks Bush: “What do you believe in?”
Bush replies: “I believe in a free economy, a strong America, the American nation and so on …”
God is impressed by Bush and tells him: “Great, come sit on the chair on my right.”
God goes to Obama and asks: “What do you believe in?”
Obama replies: “I believe in democracy, helping the poor, world peace, etc. …”
God is really impressed by Obama and tells him: “Well done, come sit on the chair on my left.”
Finally, God asks Trump: “What do you believe in”?
Trump replies: “I believe you’re sitting on my chair.”
Mental Hospital
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly veered sideways and jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna immediately jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as Edna's good deeds indicated that she was mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of a person in crisis... I have concluded that your act displays that you have a sound mind. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
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