I said to my parents, "Mom, dad... I've decided to live on my own from now on."

"Okay, that's fine." they replied.

I added, "Your luggage is outside."

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What did the Arts Major say to the Business Major?

"Can I take your order?"

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I think my neighbor is stalking me..

she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night

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I'm being attacked by Russian hackers!

Sorry! Is mistake. Russian people not do such things! Have good day.

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Doctor's visit

Doctor: It's bad news, Jim.

Jim: What is it, doc?

Doctor: You have to stop masturbating.

Jim: Oh god...why?

Doctor: Because I'm talking to you.

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Today a girl kissed me

I wish I could post it in another subreddit

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I hate it when engineering students call themselves engineers...

Like you don't see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed.

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