When all the animals cleared out, only a pair of confused looking snakes remained.
"Didn't you hear me? Go forth and multiply!" Said Noah, annoyed.
"We can't" replied one of the snakes. "We're adders".
Chủ Nhật, 28 tháng 5, 2017
Man tries to open a bank account
Teller asks him : "Your name?"
"J-j-jj-hhh-on S-ss-mm-i-tthh"
"Oh you stutter?"
"No my dad did but the person who did by birth certificate was a complete moron."
A man comes home to find his wife's suitcase packed. NSFW
He asks her, "Where are you going?"
She says, "Las Vegas, I heard I can make 300 bucks for giving blowjobs, so I figured I could make some money doing what I do for you for free."
The husband chuckles and starts to pack his suitcase, and his wife asks what he's doing.
He says, "Coming with you. I want to see how you survive on $600 a year."
These two twin brothers transferred to my school.
Their names were Ving and Ling Nguyen. Ving and I became really good friends. After a few years he told me about how he hated his name and wanted to change it. Since he was 18, he decided to go to the courthouse and legally change his name. He wanted to name himself Lee like Bruce Lee. So, Ving and Ling and I head to the courthouse. Ling is kinda pissed and telling Ving about how angry their dad's going to be. Ving was a family name. We get to the courthouse and Ving starts filling out paperwork but halfway through decided against it. He felt guilty about giving up his family name. The lady at the office said that there would be a 80 dollar fee for the paperwork. Ling offered to pay for it. At that very moment, their dad came bursting into the courthouse. He approved of the name change. I'll never forget what he said. " Don't stop, be Lee Ving. Hold onto that fee Ling. "
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